


nostalgia

by rosyyoun



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-23 22:31:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21327745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosyyoun/pseuds/rosyyoun
Summary: seungwoo misses victon. seungyoun tries not to take it personally.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Han Seungwoo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 105





	nostalgia

**Author's Note:**

> i love ryeonseung and i've had nostalgia on repeat, that's all ♡

on a good day, seungwoo is quiet. he has his playful moments of course, especially around the younger members. still, his natural disposition is reserved which means that on a bad day, seungwoo is  _ silent _ . 

the difference isn’t obvious. eunsang’s hanging off seungwoo’s arm, giggling at something dohyon said. yohan’s calling to their leader from across the room to ask when their food is arriving. 

“we ordered five minutes ago, yohan-ah. relax.” seungyoun responds instead. he may be the only one who sees it, but there’s something more than just exhaustion behind seungwoo’s eyes. 

with a soft remark about washing up before dinner, seungwoo pulls himself away from the others and disappears in the direction of his room. 

ten minutes pass and seungwoo still hasn’t returned. he’s probably fine, but seungyoun can’t help the anxiety that seeps into his form as he sits motionless on the couch. the nervousness eventually forces him up and down the hall, after seungwoo. 

it’s always been like this. where seungwoo goes, seungyoun follows. he’s happy to let the elder take the lead, there being nothing seungyoun wouldn’t trust seungwoo with. but sometimes seungwoo goes too far ahead, gets so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn’t know when to stop and just let things be. seungyoun is the one to pull him back.

“hyung?” seungyoun’s voice drifts through the closed door to seungwoo’s room. there’s no response for a moment, and seungyoun’s heart falls when he thinks he hears a sniffle. 

“seungyoun-ah?”

“yeah, it’s me.”

“come in.”

the lights are off, but seungyoun can still make out seungwoo’s silhouette in the corner of his bed. seungyoun silently thanks his instincts for telling him to check up on their leader. as he draws closer, the sound of seungwoo’s heaving breaths and the tears glistening on his cheeks become unmistakable. 

“baby, what’s wrong?” seungyoun keeps his voice steady for seungwoo’s sake, but his mind naturally goes into panicked boyfriend mode. gently, he pulls himself onto seungwoo’s bed and takes a seat next to the elder. seungwoo doesn’t answer at first, just lets himself be pulled into seungyoun’s side. 

“i should be there for them.” the response puzzles seungyoun, until he finally glances down and notices seungwoo’s phone in his hand. illuminated on the screen is the latest instagram post from  _ victon1109. _ it’s a photo from their comeback showcase. 

seungyoun knows how seungwoo feels for the most part, but there’s an aspect to it he can’t touch. he’s never been the leader or the eldest of a group, let alone  _ two _ . seungwoo is well practiced in pretending the immeasurable responsibility doesn’t weigh on him, save for times like these. 

“you are, baby,” seungyoun sighs. seeing seungwoo like this never fails to break his heart, and seungyoun feels himself scrambling to pick up the pieces if only so he can place them in the cracks of seungwoo’s chest instead of his own. “you congratulated them, right?”

seungwoo nods. all of the members had, in some way or another, expressed their joy and congratulations for victon’s successful comeback. seungyoun saw the way seungwoo’s eyes lit up when dongpyo announced they’d charted on melon which makes this, the elder thinking he somehow still hasn’t done enough, all the more devastating. 

“you’re with them, always will be. they wouldn’t have come this far without you.” 

“it was so fast,” seungwoo hiccups, “i’m worried byungchan hasn’t rested enough. and i saw some of the things people said about hanse-” the sentence trails off, powerless against the next wave of quiet sobs that wracks seungwoo’s body. 

seungyoun doesn’t speak right away. truth be told he’s not sure what to say, a problem that doesn’t often befall him.

“do you wish you’d stayed with them?” it’s a self serving question, of course it is, but tonight is far from the first time it’s crossed seungyoun’s mind. he’s asked the same of wooseok, but the words didn’t have nearly as much weight to them then. seungyoun knows seungwoo loves him, loves all ten of them, but at moments like these it’s hard not to wonder. what if one of them had been eliminated? what if it was seungwoo that had to leave due to injury, or what if seungsik or sejun had auditioned instead of him? seungyoun’s so lost in his own self-doubt he doesn’t realize the way seungwoo starts to cry even harder at the question. 

his long fingers curl in seungyoun’s shirt, tears soaking the fabric as he attempts to hide his face in the younger’s shoulder. seungyoun can just barely feel the way seungwoo shakes his head.

“wouldn’t have you,” the elder admits, voice small and wavering. 

“i think we would have found each other.” seungyoun’s not sure it’s true, but it seems like the best conclusion to all the uncertainties still running through his mind. 

“like soulmates?” seungwoo raises his head to meet seungyoun’s gaze. there’s unshed tears lingering in the elder’s eyes, shining against the dark of his pupils brighter than any star seungyoun’s ever seen. 

“yeah. like soulmates.” seungyoun leans in, just brushing his lips against seungwoo’s. it’s seungwoo who makes it deeper, tongue brushing along seungyoun’s lower lip as if he’s asking permission. like always, seungyoun lets him in, not minding the salt on seungwoo’s skin. lifting his thumb to seungwoo’s cheekbone, seungyoun wipes away what he hopes will be the last tears of the night. when they finally pull back, lips plush and bitten red, seungyoun whispers,

“promise me something.”

“anything,” seungwoo breathes.

“you’ll let yourself be happy.” the words cause seungwoo to let out another shaky exhale, but he refrains from crying again much to seungyoun’s relief. “you deserve everything you have. baby, you placed  _ third _ .” this draws a small grin out of seungwoo. seungyoun keeps going, always desperate to be the one behind that smile. “your members are getting the recognition they deserve too. we’re all doing well. it’s okay to be happy.” 

“what about you?” 

“me?” seungyoun asks.

“are you happy seungyoun-ah?” seungwoo takes his hand. 

“yeah, i am.” 

“me too.” 

yes, seungyoun thinks, they would have found each other. no matter when or where he and seungwoo would have been brought together. but he’s really glad it happened like this.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> sorry this was short and not very well proof-read!
> 
> come talk to me~  
twt & cc: @rosyyoun


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